Trip Report: Egypt, July 2012: Day 1, The Arrival

As I write this report, it is 3:00 am in Washington, D.C. (9:00 am Cairo time).  Quark is asleep to my left, and Jackie has claimed my right.  Po dog is curled up and soundly sleeping on my head.

It is well known that I am cheap, so it should come as no surprise that I booked tickets for this trip through CheapO Air.  They are a company after my own heart.  If it costs money, they don’t do it.  All confirmations are automated, and no paper tickets are issued.  Also, because it is a third-party system booking international travel, boarding passes cannot be issued online.  “No problem” I thought.  I’ll go to the airport early with all of the reservation information and get my travel documents at the airline desk—old school.

I parked my car in long-term parking and hopped the bus to the terminal three hours early.  Arriving at the American Airlines counter, I started my conversation with a jovial greeting and requested assistance in printing travel documents.  The woman behind the counter said with a gravelly voice, “You’ll have to use a kiosk. Personalized is reserved for First Class only.”  So, I made my way to a kiosk and entered my information only to receive an error message.  When I reported the error, the hairy gravel-throated woman told me to try again.  After the third attempt, I convinced her that the error was legitimate, and she told me to go back to the original line, because I would need to talk to a real person.  That is when Mary, the angel of mercy and light appeared.  There were two blocks on my record: one because I used a third-party system to book an international ticket, and a second block because the plane from BWI connecting to JFK had blown a tire and was delayed.  Mary sprinkled pixel dust on her keyboard and the first block disappeared, but alas she could not fix the tire on the plane because there was no replacement in Baltimore.  Tires for AA are housed in Chicago and one had to be flown in.  My three-hour early arrival just turned into a two-hour delay in JFK.  Mary tried valiantly to find other options on other airlines, but nothing was available, so she overrode the second block and sent me back to the kiosk for my boarding passes.  She also instructed me to say three Hail Mary’s on the way through security, and to beg for mercy at the flight check in counter.  I did as she said.  The flight from Chicago was quicker than expected, and our chariot was fitted with new kicks in time to make connections in New York.  The flight on Egypt Air was uneventful with good service, and the plane was a new 777.  International flights on Egypt Air rock!

We arrived in Cairo the next morning to light brown, hazy skies.  Cairo has a major smog problem.  At 11:30 am, it was 111F outside.  Thank goodness for air conditioning.  After going through customs, I had a 4 ½ hour layover before connecting to a flight to Luxor, so I opted for lunch.  The only two dining options outside of security in Cairo are a coffee/sandwich shop, and Burger King.  After seeing that all of the sandwiches at the coffee shop were premade and stuffed full of green leafy vegetables, I decided to try my luck at Burger King.  The BK menu featured 12 options plus a new grilled chicken sandwich all printed above the slogan “Have it Your Way!”  The burka-clad lady behind the counter said, “Welcome to Burger King. Please have your way.”  Seeking a gluten-free option, I ordered the grilled-chicken sandwich without the bun.  She said, “Only advertisement…we have only 7, 8, 9, and 11.  Have your way.”  Given the options, I chose #9, a cheese burger, but I requested no bun.  Her response, “Burgers have buns.  It is not possible to choose no bun.  Have your way.”  After three additional attempts to order including a trip through Google translator, I requested a bottle of water and had a snack bar from my backpack.

Getting through security in Cairo is mostly for show.  There is a metal detector and an x-ray machine, but I am not sure that either works.  The real trick is getting past many people that grab your bags and pull you into another line stating, “Here is faster.”  In exchange they ask for “bakeesh” (tips) in exchange for their help.  Security bounces you back in line anyway, so the help only delays and confuses the process.  Groups of guys also bump you with carts to distract you while others try to pick your pockets, or grab something from your bags.  My advice is to pick your approach in advance, say “no thanks” to helpers and ignore any other annoyances.  Once through security, the world becomes calmer.

Domestic flights on Air Egypt are not the same as international ones.  The aircrafts are much older and dirtier.  The air terminals outside of Cairo are also bare bones, so it is best to handle any transactions (money exchange, etc.) before leaving Cairo.

Next post Luxor…